So, last night I had an interesting workout. I went to a "boot camp" class taught by my favorite instructor, who is also my trainer. I LOVE her! The short story is that I jogged out of class after the first 10 minutes.
The longer story is that I was struggling with all sorts of internal self-speak. The class starts out with warm up walking, jogging, skipping in a big circle. I found myself going at a slower speed that other members and telling people to pass me. I struggled with the image of me going slower than others. It's funny, I am perfectly comfortable going at my own speed, unless it is visible in a very public way, like in class last night. Then she had us stop and do push ups on the floor. O.K., anyone who knows me knows that I am a real "girl". I don't like getting down on a dirty floor without a mat or a towel.....so I didn't like that....so to cut to the chase, I gave myself permission to leave class. I did finish a full hour of great cardio on the Precor runner machine. I worked up a good sweat. It's not as if I blew off my workout....and yet, I still have a nagging feeling of having failed.
So my question to ponder today is....why am I so hard on myself and did that bad habit contribute to my struggles with my weight gain? How can I break this bad habit so it does not coem around to bite me in the butt as I strive towards successful maintenance?
It is always interesting to (as my sister would say) hold up the mirror to yourself and explore why something is uncomfortable.