My spectacular fantastic niece just finished up a post graduation visit to San Diego, her birth city. She has just graduated from George Washington University. We had a wonderful visit with her. She spent time with us, with her grandparents, aunts and uncles and a cousin. We did lots of workouts, beach, restaurants and shopping!
I introduced her to restorative yoga. She had begun practicing yoga during her senior year at GW. Like everything else in her life, she enjoyed the "power" part of the vinyasa flow. She commented that restorative yoga was wonderful because it gave her a chance to go slower, it gave her permission to slow down, it was OK to go slower.
It made me think how much of our lives are striving, pushing, running, seeking, go, go, go, faster, faster, faster...... There is actually great power in slowing down. It is in those moments of quiet that you can really look inside yourself and see what needs or wants more attention and nurturing. I often think that we schedule ourselves so much as a way of avoiding what really would benefit from our focus...that is ourselves. Restorative yoga is a way of hitting your personal pause button and just taking a moment for YOU. I love it. My niece loves it. I think you will too.
Desire to pause and reflect. Dedication to YOU. Discipline to just go slow.
Happy Memorial Day!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
I.A.M.
A good friend shared a new website with me. It is the I.nternal A.cceptance M.ovement authored by Daniell. You can visit her site at http://internal-acceptance-movement.tumblr.com/post/26458379054
Here is a recent post. I found it to be very thouhgt provoking. I hope you like it too!
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF DURING A BAD BODY IMAGE DAY:
1. Recognize that fat isn’t a feeling.
There are always underlying emotions that we attach to feeling fat. When the “I feel fat” thoughts start up, try to identify what you’re feeling underneath the body dissatisfaction. Are you feeling lonely? Anxious? Invisible? Scared? Ashamed? Inadequate? Whatever the feelings are recognize that they are separate from your body.
2. Treat yourself as you would a friend.
Because it’s difficult to be kind to ourselves in the moment when the body hating thoughts take over, try responding to your thoughts as if you were supporting a friend. What would you say to someone you loved who was battling your same struggle with body image?
You wouldn’t tell them to not eat for the day in order to compensate for what they ate the previous night. You wouldn’t tell them to punish themselves for their body size through over-exercise, self-harm, or abusive eating habits. You wouldn’t tell them they were worthless or unloveable because of their weight. So why do you tell yourself these things? Break the cycle and start treating yourself like a friend—you deserve that kindness and love from everyone, especially yourself.
3. Recognize that you are so much more than the size of your body.
What you look like does not define you. It doesn’t discount your worth as a human being. You are so much more than a number on the scale. As a living, breathing, feeling human being you have inherent value. You are special and important and loved. You exist and therefore you matter.
Your appearance is such a small part of who you are, and it certainly doesn’t warrant enough power to discount the person you are inside. You aren’t your body or your weight—you are your goals and dreams and passions and values. You are your strengths and talents and insight. You are a soul and a spirit and a force of nature. Your body does not define you.
4. Shift your focus from the external to the internal.
Make a list of all the people you look up to and are inspired by—not because of their weight or appearance, but because of who they are and what they do. Write out all the qualities they have that make you appreciate and value them.
Use the list as a reminder that it’s the internal things—our dreams and passions and goals and morals and insight and character—that truly define who we are and draw people to us; not how we look.
You are no exception to this. Try making your own list of things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance or body size. If you have a difficult time creating one, ask some friends and family to help you.
5. Think about what you want to be remembered for after you die.
I don’t want people to remember me for what I looked like, what size jeans I wore, or what I weighed. I want to be remembered for the person I am. I want to be remembered as someone who brought about positive change in the world. I want to be remembered as loving friend, partner, and family member. I want to be remembered for my passions and my creativity and my strength. I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference. What do you want your legacy to be? Chances are, it doesn’t have to do with weight.
6. Instead of focusing on the size of your body, start focusing on what your body allows you to do.
The human body is an incredible force. When we get caught up in the number on the scale and size of clothes however, we forget just how lucky we are to have a fully functioning vehicle to engage in life with. So stop hating your body for the way it looks and start acknowledging and appreciating your body for all that it allows you to do.
Make a list of each activity and feat your body helps you to partake in and accomplish. If you want to be even more specific, list out each body part and describe all the things you wouldn’t be able to do without it. Your body is strong, powerful, and beautiful, regardless of it’s size. Choose to treat it with love, compassion, and gratitude instead of hate and judgement.
7. Challenge your negative thoughts.
You may not be able to change the way you feel about your body today, tomorrow, or a month from now, but you can begin the process by challenging the thoughts in the moment. Write out a dialogue between your negative voice and a healthy voice. If you have a hard time coming up with positive counters to the negative thoughts, pretend that you are speaking positively about a friend or loved one.
Even if you don’t believe the things you say to counter the voice, it’s still important to speak out against it, because each time you argue with the thoughts, you are taking away some of their power and reclaiming your own. The more you challenge the thoughts, the less you will believe them. The more you argue back, the easier fighting the voice will become.
8. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
There is a lot of built up energy and emotion underlying the way we feel about our bodies. Holding in how we feel or engaging in behaviors to numb out may make us feel better in the moment, but in the long run, it doesn’t remedy the pain we feel. It doesn’t make us feel better and it keeps us stuck.
Releasing the energy and painful emotions underlying our body shame requires us to feel our feelings. Whether that means throwing a tantrum on the floor, venting to a friend on the phone, punching a pillow, screaming in your car, or crying in bed, you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings. Let go of the judgement you have about what you feel and recognize that you are feeling these things for a reason. Give yourself permission to release your emotions and let everything out.
9. Do self care.
When you’re struggling with body image, distract yourself with healthy coping mechanisms. Take a bubble bath, get a message, ask for a back scratch, cuddle with a pet, make plans with a supportive friend, watch your favorite movie, get a manicure, listening to calming music, do deep breathing—whatever it is, make sure it’s something self-soothing and helps you get out of your head.
10. Be kind with yourself.
You may not be able to control the way you feel about your body, but you can control what you do in response to how you feel.
Instead of beating yourself up, you can choose to treat yourself with compassion. Instead of engaging in unhealthy and abusive behaviors, you can choose to do self-care. Instead of treating your body as an enemy, you can choose to treat it as a friend. Instead of isolating yourself, you can choose to reach out for support and surround yourself with positive people who make you feel loved and accepted. Instead of agreeing with the negative thoughts, you can choose to challenge them.
Desire to keep learning. Dedication to try new things. Discipline to seek out new sources of inspiration.
Here is a recent post. I found it to be very thouhgt provoking. I hope you like it too!
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF DURING A BAD BODY IMAGE DAY:
1. Recognize that fat isn’t a feeling.
There are always underlying emotions that we attach to feeling fat. When the “I feel fat” thoughts start up, try to identify what you’re feeling underneath the body dissatisfaction. Are you feeling lonely? Anxious? Invisible? Scared? Ashamed? Inadequate? Whatever the feelings are recognize that they are separate from your body.
2. Treat yourself as you would a friend.
Because it’s difficult to be kind to ourselves in the moment when the body hating thoughts take over, try responding to your thoughts as if you were supporting a friend. What would you say to someone you loved who was battling your same struggle with body image?
You wouldn’t tell them to not eat for the day in order to compensate for what they ate the previous night. You wouldn’t tell them to punish themselves for their body size through over-exercise, self-harm, or abusive eating habits. You wouldn’t tell them they were worthless or unloveable because of their weight. So why do you tell yourself these things? Break the cycle and start treating yourself like a friend—you deserve that kindness and love from everyone, especially yourself.
3. Recognize that you are so much more than the size of your body.
What you look like does not define you. It doesn’t discount your worth as a human being. You are so much more than a number on the scale. As a living, breathing, feeling human being you have inherent value. You are special and important and loved. You exist and therefore you matter.
Your appearance is such a small part of who you are, and it certainly doesn’t warrant enough power to discount the person you are inside. You aren’t your body or your weight—you are your goals and dreams and passions and values. You are your strengths and talents and insight. You are a soul and a spirit and a force of nature. Your body does not define you.
4. Shift your focus from the external to the internal.
Make a list of all the people you look up to and are inspired by—not because of their weight or appearance, but because of who they are and what they do. Write out all the qualities they have that make you appreciate and value them.
Use the list as a reminder that it’s the internal things—our dreams and passions and goals and morals and insight and character—that truly define who we are and draw people to us; not how we look.
You are no exception to this. Try making your own list of things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance or body size. If you have a difficult time creating one, ask some friends and family to help you.
5. Think about what you want to be remembered for after you die.
I don’t want people to remember me for what I looked like, what size jeans I wore, or what I weighed. I want to be remembered for the person I am. I want to be remembered as someone who brought about positive change in the world. I want to be remembered as loving friend, partner, and family member. I want to be remembered for my passions and my creativity and my strength. I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference. What do you want your legacy to be? Chances are, it doesn’t have to do with weight.
6. Instead of focusing on the size of your body, start focusing on what your body allows you to do.
The human body is an incredible force. When we get caught up in the number on the scale and size of clothes however, we forget just how lucky we are to have a fully functioning vehicle to engage in life with. So stop hating your body for the way it looks and start acknowledging and appreciating your body for all that it allows you to do.
Make a list of each activity and feat your body helps you to partake in and accomplish. If you want to be even more specific, list out each body part and describe all the things you wouldn’t be able to do without it. Your body is strong, powerful, and beautiful, regardless of it’s size. Choose to treat it with love, compassion, and gratitude instead of hate and judgement.
7. Challenge your negative thoughts.
You may not be able to change the way you feel about your body today, tomorrow, or a month from now, but you can begin the process by challenging the thoughts in the moment. Write out a dialogue between your negative voice and a healthy voice. If you have a hard time coming up with positive counters to the negative thoughts, pretend that you are speaking positively about a friend or loved one.
Even if you don’t believe the things you say to counter the voice, it’s still important to speak out against it, because each time you argue with the thoughts, you are taking away some of their power and reclaiming your own. The more you challenge the thoughts, the less you will believe them. The more you argue back, the easier fighting the voice will become.
8. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
There is a lot of built up energy and emotion underlying the way we feel about our bodies. Holding in how we feel or engaging in behaviors to numb out may make us feel better in the moment, but in the long run, it doesn’t remedy the pain we feel. It doesn’t make us feel better and it keeps us stuck.
Releasing the energy and painful emotions underlying our body shame requires us to feel our feelings. Whether that means throwing a tantrum on the floor, venting to a friend on the phone, punching a pillow, screaming in your car, or crying in bed, you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings. Let go of the judgement you have about what you feel and recognize that you are feeling these things for a reason. Give yourself permission to release your emotions and let everything out.
9. Do self care.
When you’re struggling with body image, distract yourself with healthy coping mechanisms. Take a bubble bath, get a message, ask for a back scratch, cuddle with a pet, make plans with a supportive friend, watch your favorite movie, get a manicure, listening to calming music, do deep breathing—whatever it is, make sure it’s something self-soothing and helps you get out of your head.
10. Be kind with yourself.
You may not be able to control the way you feel about your body, but you can control what you do in response to how you feel.
Instead of beating yourself up, you can choose to treat yourself with compassion. Instead of engaging in unhealthy and abusive behaviors, you can choose to do self-care. Instead of treating your body as an enemy, you can choose to treat it as a friend. Instead of isolating yourself, you can choose to reach out for support and surround yourself with positive people who make you feel loved and accepted. Instead of agreeing with the negative thoughts, you can choose to challenge them.
Desire to keep learning. Dedication to try new things. Discipline to seek out new sources of inspiration.
Monday, May 13, 2013
A Different Celebration
A good friend of mine, Marshall Goldsmith, says that every day can be a special occassion, all we have to do is look for a reason to "celebrate" and we can find it. I agree with him.
In my dedication to continue seeking a lower healthy body weight, I am in constant contact with opportunities to celebrate. So I am trying a different approach. Please read on.....
Saturday night was a graduation party fo rmy niece, jusr graduated from George Washington University (thank you very much!) So at the party I skipped the crackers, passed on the pasta, said no to the garlic bread and wine, waved off the cake and ice cream and even denied the See's candy. AND I had a fun evening of celebration focusing on the graduate instead of the food.
Then on Sunday afternoon we celerated Mother's Day with a weinie roast on the beach. Again, I focused on the love we all have for Mom and passed the chips, ate a naked weinie with no bun, avoided the brown rice salad, skipped wine and watched others eat a special cake in celebration of Mom.
I am sure I avoided over 2,000 calories and I thoroughly enjoyed each celebration. Of course, I will indulge again, but just not for every holiday and celebration that comes along.
Desire to celebrate. Dedication to my plan. Discipline to make continuing healthy choices.
In my dedication to continue seeking a lower healthy body weight, I am in constant contact with opportunities to celebrate. So I am trying a different approach. Please read on.....
Saturday night was a graduation party fo rmy niece, jusr graduated from George Washington University (thank you very much!) So at the party I skipped the crackers, passed on the pasta, said no to the garlic bread and wine, waved off the cake and ice cream and even denied the See's candy. AND I had a fun evening of celebration focusing on the graduate instead of the food.
Then on Sunday afternoon we celerated Mother's Day with a weinie roast on the beach. Again, I focused on the love we all have for Mom and passed the chips, ate a naked weinie with no bun, avoided the brown rice salad, skipped wine and watched others eat a special cake in celebration of Mom.
I am sure I avoided over 2,000 calories and I thoroughly enjoyed each celebration. Of course, I will indulge again, but just not for every holiday and celebration that comes along.
Desire to celebrate. Dedication to my plan. Discipline to make continuing healthy choices.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Happy Tuesday!
We spent the weekend on Catalina island where Allen played in a rugby tournament all day Saturday. He played in 4 games and scored a try! He was so happy! In one of the games, for "the old guys" Allen (in his 50's) was the youngest player. The oldest player was 72!!! Granted he did not play the whole meet, but he was out there tossing the ball and having fun.
It was certainly inspirational to be around so many people being active, having fun and enjoying a beautiful day outdoors.
Is there something you enjoy doing outdoors that can add value to you healthy journey?
Desire to have fun while being active. Dedication to staying young. Discipline to keep going.
It was certainly inspirational to be around so many people being active, having fun and enjoying a beautiful day outdoors.
Is there something you enjoy doing outdoors that can add value to you healthy journey?
Desire to have fun while being active. Dedication to staying young. Discipline to keep going.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)